That Moment When

That moment when….

  1. You think someone is speaking fluently in a sophisticated foreign language, but then realize it’s actually just unintelligible ‘Murican Walmart talk.
  2. Two of the most common food allergies are to nuts and gluten, yet airplanes serve a meal made entirely of peanuts and pretzels.
  3. An infomercial for bacon comes on while you’re on the treadmill.
  4. The lady cutting your hair has a mullet.
  5. Your first drunk experience is off tequila mixer, and then you realize there’s no alcohol in it.
  6. You realize having babies at this age is now socially acceptable, and no longer considered getting knocked up. And then you realize that your eggs are probably shriveling up, and you’re going to end up an old spinster cat woman with doilies on every horizontal surface.
  7. Your dog actually eats your homework. And then a whole sheet of cookies. And then a couple chunks of your mattress.
  8. Despite the thousands of dollars spent on college, Home Ec in middle school is still the only education you’ve actually used.
  9. The lady in front of you in airport security stops the entire line, and shouts out, “WAIT! Is water not allowed? Because I have a bottle of chocolate milk in my bag. But I can’t find it.” Facepalm.
  10. After all these years of the diet soda craze, scientists learn that your body processes fake sugar the same as real sugar.
  11. You forget to wear eyeliner one 5 AM morning, and a kid says, “Miss Reesa, where are your eyes?”
  12. Dwight K. Schrute becomes your idol.
  13. You get your head and arms stuck trying on a too small dress, and find that you’ve straight jacketed yourself. Cue extreme panic.
  14. You find out you were adopted.
    1. HAHAHAHA, just kidding.

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